Bibi Zhou Bichang - Yu Guantou (Canned Fish) translation

The music video for this song is a rip-off of Nuit Blanche, an award-winning short film. Like, a blatant shot for shot rip-off. Not even a little bit subtle about it. And yes, it was plagiarism, because the director didn't give any credit for the idea. Why people think they can get away with this sort of thing in the era of the internet is beyond me.

The song isn't a plagiarism of anybody, though.

魚罐頭一樣 在平躺	lying flat, like canned fish	yu guantou yiyang zai ping tang
困在濃稠的思念 仰望	surrounded by dense nostalgia, looking up	kun zai nongchou de sinian, yangwang
星空空轉	the starry sky idly spins	xingkong kongzhuan
念頭像水母的飄蕩	thoughts floating like jellyfish	niantou xiang shuimu de piaodang
我並不孤單	I don't feel alone at all	wo bing bu gudan
想你 才孤單	but when I think of you I feel alone	xiang ni cai gudan
在瀰漫 防腐的哀傷	soaking in a preservative sorrow	zai miman fangfu de aishang
*被淹沒一樣 不作響	*not making a sound, like being drowned	*bei yanmo yiyang bu zuo xiang
四季就是那四面 白牆	the four seasons are just the four white walls	siji jiu shi na mian si bai qiang
唱盤在空轉	the turntable is idly spinning	changpan zai kongzhuan
寂寞是濃霧的暗光	loneliness is a dark light in thick fog	jimo shi nongwu de an'guang
空心磚發燙	a hollow brick burning	kongxing zhuang fatang
胸膛 正中央	in the center of my chest	xiongtang zheng zhongyang
那是我 真空的地方	that's me, a vacuum	na shi wo, zhenkong de difang
#缺氧	#no oxygen	#que yang
魚失去海洋	the fish lost the sea	yu shiqu haiyang
我失去心臟	I lost my heart	wo shiqu xinzang
要用什麼補償 都一樣	what can make up for it? it's all the same	yao yong shenme buchang, dou yiyang
魚罐頭一樣	like a can of fish	yu guantou yi yang
慢慢的被蓋上	slowly covered up by a lid	manman de bei gai shang
不透光	no light entering	bu tou guang
repeat *	repeat *	repeat *
repeat #	repeat #	repeat #
缺氧	no oxygen	que yang
魚失去海洋	the fish lost the sea	yu shiqu haiyang
我失去立場	I lost my place	wo shiqu lichang
我以為不一樣 都一樣	I thought it was different, but it's all the same	wo yiwei bu yiyang, dou yiyang
倔強得牽強	stubborn beyond reason	juejiang de qianqiang
慢慢的被風乾	slowly air-dried	manman de bei feng gan
我說謊	I tell lies	wo shuo huang
我說謊	I tell lies	wo shuo huang

Landy Wen Lan - Fatang (Burning) translation 溫嵐－ 發燙

A few hilarious notes about the video: Miami is conspicuously lacking in black and Hispanic people. Hmm. And the street signs are clearly from Hawaii. This is like when people ask me to translate something for them and I'm like "Um, that's Japanese."

"Whatever, that's all the same right? What does it mean?"

People always seem to treat "the exotic" as more or less interchangeable... you could also say this extends to the music. Penned by Jay Chou, it has a strong Middle Eastern vibe. So, Middle Eastern Miami Hawaii. In Chinese. Woo!

邁阿密海邊　棕欄的樹叢	Miami beach, clusters of palm trees	Maiami haibian, zonglang de shucong
微熱的南風　微熱的南風	warm southern wind, warm southern wind	weire de nan feng, weire de nan feng
手牽著手　還在　曖眛中摸索	hand in hand, but still fumbling in ambiguity	shou qianzhe shou, hai zai aimei zhong mosuo
街上人群猜不透我們算是什麼	the people on the street can't figure out what we are to each other	jieshang renqun caibuxiu women suanshi shenme
一路沉默　緊閉嘴角	the entire way silent, mouth shut tight	yi lu chenmo, jinbi zuijiao
突然說出　愛我	then suddenly you say you love me	turan shuo chu ai wo
腳底　髮梢	from the soles of my feet to the tips of my hair	jiaodi, fashao
全被不安情緒給籠罩	I'm enveloped by a mood of disturbance	quan bei bu an qingxu gei longzhao
關於耳邊呢喃　已經聽不到	as for the murmur in my ears, I already can't hear it	guanyu erbian ninan, yijing tingbudao
安靜已久心臟　左邊暈眩狂跳	my once peaceful heart is jumping giddily and madly in my left side	anjing yijiu xinzang zuobian yunxuan kuangtiao
邁阿密的下午　誰知道	an afternoon in Miami, who knows?	Maiami de xiawu, shei zhidao?
我感到臉頰一直在　發燙	I feel like my cheeks are constantly burning	wo gandao lianjia yizhi zai fatang
我感到胸膛　小鹿在亂撞	I feel like there's a little deer running around crazily in my chest	wo gandao xiongtang xiao lu zai luanzhuang
濕潤的嘴唇　被你覆蓋說不出話　不出話	my moist lips overlaid by yours can't say a word, not a word	shirun de zuichun bei ni fugai shuo bu chu hua, bu chu hua
我感到臉頰一直在　發燙	I feel like my cheeks are constantly burning	wo gandao lianjia yizhi zai fatang
溫柔從髮稍　一路在擴張	tenderness is extending from the tips of my hair the entire way	wenrou cong fashao yi lu zai kuozhang
曖昧的感覺逐漸蛻變成	the feeling of ambiguity is gradually shed and changed into	aimei de ganjue zhujian tui biancheng
一種愛情的模樣	a romantic style	yi zhong aiqing de moyang

Landy Wen Lan 溫嵐 - D.I.S.C.O. translation

I got stuck on one part of the rap here, 看好出口. My translation of "come off well" is very vague and tentative. The thing is, as far as I can tell, it means "it is probable that exports will increase." But that makes NO SENSE AT ALL.

This is a cover of a kpop song of the same name by Uhm Jung Hwa. Like all covers between Asian languages, this sends certain fanbrats into fits of Youtube comment apoplexy, and this song is particularly a target for that because the Korean song featured TOP, a member of a boy band, and boy band fandom contains some of the most batshit crazy people on the planet. (Not all of you, but I'm sure those of you who are sane know even better than I do who I'm talking about.) So I'll paint a target on myself by saying I liked Landy's version better. Haters to the left!

I used a pinyin generator and fixed common errors such as "shui2" for "shei2" and "shi2 me" for "shen2 me". Should be alright. I hate doing pinyin by hand. Even using pinyin generators seems like a lot of work. I'm too lazy. XD

＊D.I.S.C.O　歡迎光臨Lan-Disco	＊D.I.S.C.O　welcome to the LAN-DISCO	＊D.I.S.C.O　huānyíng guānglín LAN-DISCO
熱情無休　To The Disco	non-stop passion　TO THE DISCO	rèqíng wúxiū 　TO THE DISCO
D.I.S.C.O　這裡就是Lan-Disco	D.I.S.C.O　this is the LAN-DISCO	D.I.S.C.O　zhèlǐ jiù shì LAN-DISCO
煩惱真空　Let’s Go Disco	free from worries LET'S GO DISCO	fánnǎo zhēnkōng 　LET'S GO DISCO
Magic Disco	MAGIC DISCO	MAGIC DISCO
D.I.S.C.O　To The Disco	D.I.S.C.O TO THE DISCO	D.I.S.C.O TO THE DISCO
D.I.S.C.O　Let’s Go Disco！	D.I.S.C.O LET'S GO DISCO!	D.I.S.C.O LET'S GO DISCO!
穿上最驕傲的行頭	wearing the most audacious outfit	chuānshàng zuì jiāoào de hángtóu
準備席捲全場的所有眼球	getting ready to pull in all the eyes on the dance floor	zhǔnbèi xíjuǎn quán chǎng de suǒyǒu yǎnqiú
燈光正在招手空氣騷動還等什麼	the lights are flashing, the place is jumping, what more am I waiting for?	dēngguāng zhèng zài zhāoshǒu, kōngqì sāodòng, hái děng shénme
快點站出來讓地球的心跳動	I'm gonna come out and make the earth's heart beat	kuàidiǎn zhànchūlái ràng dìqiú de xīn tiào dòng
＃完全釋放電流搖擺身體Beautiful	#completely letting the electricity flow as I move my body, BEAUTIFUL	＃wánquán shìfàng diànliú yáobǎi shēntǐ BEAUTIFUL
真男人吸引了我	real men attract me	zhēn nánrén xīyǐn le wǒ
連笑容都有節奏	even the smiles are to the beat	lián xiàoróng dōu yǒu jiēzòu
快樂無限暢飲消滅悲傷Wonderful	happily indulging myself and extinguishing sorrow, WONDERFUL	kuàilè wúxiàn chàngyǐn xiāomiè bēishāng WONDERFUL
有愛就會有魔力	if there's love there'll be magic	yǒu ài jiù huì yǒu mólì
抱緊抱緊不要害羞＃	embrace, embrace, don't be shy	bàojǐn, bàojǐn, bú yào hàixiū ＃
REPEAT＊	REPEAT *	REPEAT＊
不愛不勇敢的傢伙	guys who don't love and aren't brave	bú ài bú yǒnggǎn de jīahuǒ
舉起雙手驅逐憂愁到外太空	lift your hands and send your troubles to outer space	jǔqǐ shuāng shǒu qūzhú yōuchóu dào wài tàikōng
誰在偷偷看我一舉一動	someone's sneakily watching every move I make	sheí zài tōutōu kàn wǒ yī jǔ yī dòng
怎麼閃躲	how do I dodge him?	zěnme shǎnduǒ?
不如解開細胞盡情享受我就是我	better unleash myself and enjoy myself to the fill, I am who I am	bú rú jiěkāi xìbāo jìnqíng xiǎngshòu, wǒ jiù shì wǒ
REPEAT＃	REPEAT #	REPEAT＃
REPEAT *	REPEAT *	REPEAT *
(Rap)	(Rap)1	(Rap)
This is how I do it the Landy style AHOO~!!	THIS IS HOW I DO IT, THE LANDY STYLE!	THIS IS HOW I DO IT, THE LANDY STYLE!
把事情想的　那麼那麼太多	thinking about things way way too much	bǎ shìqíng xiǎng de nàme nàme tài duō
只不過　想先看好出口	only think first of coming off well	zhǐbúguò xiǎng xiān kànhǎo chūkǒu
沒有錯　誰沒有架子　誰不怕羞	that's right, who doesn't put on airs, who's not shy	méiyǒu cuò, sheí méiyǒu jiàzǐ, sheí bú pàxiū
but really think about it　我要愛	BUT REALLY THINK ABOUT IT (I want love)	BUT REALLY THINK ABOUT IT　(wǒ yào ài)
你給我機會　給我暗示　給我線索　我還缺什麼	you should give me a chance, give me a hint, give me a clue, what am I still lacking?	nǐ gěi wǒ jīhuì, gěi wǒ ànshì, gěi wǒ xiànsuǒ, wǒ hái quē shénme
D.I.S.C.O.unt 時間不折扣	D.I.S.C.OUNT, time doesn't discount	D.I.S.C.O.unt shíjiān bú zhékòu
我的愛　Let’s Go Disco!	my love, LET'S GO DISCO	wǒ de ài, LET'S GO DISCO
微笑挑逗全場騷動	a teasing smile, the dance floor is jumping	wēixiào tiāodòu, quán chǎng sāodòng
舉手投足揮霍節奏	lifting my hands and moving my feet freely to the beat	jǔ shǒu tóu zú huīhuò jiēzòu
誰能封鎖驚艷直播	who can block this breathtaking performance?	sheí néng fēngsuǒ jīngyàn zhíbō
愛讓人全身充滿魔力攔不住我	love fills people with magic, nothing can stop me	ài ràng rén quánshēn chōngmǎn mólì, lánbúzhù wǒ
REPEAT *	REPEAT *	REPEAT *

1. I had some trouble translating the rap. It seems to jump around from one thought to another and I'm not sure how the English integrates with it, if at all. I will keep thinking about it, but I invite help on translating it. (The ever-popular "It doesn't make much sense in the original language either" answer might be correct. I can think of hundreds of English songs that I can't make head or tail of the lyrics. Other than the rap, the lyrics were fairly easy.)

Six Plus 六甲樂團 － Taike Song 台客Song translation

This song has a ton of footnotes, which is understandable because it's all about Taiwanese culture, and a lot of Taiwanese culture is fairly obscure, even to people who know something about the Sinosphere and Chinese.

I'm not exactly sure what's going on in the music video. I think they're supposed to be skanking, but it looks like they're doing some kind of black suit and tie Riverdance up there. Nor do I know why they are floating around in the air. It's a bit odd.

Six Plus only ever released one album in 2004, plus a couple of songs on the Smile Pasta soundtrack. Their sound is rap-rock, their lyrics tend to be aggressive, and the content is unmistakeably Taiwanese, especially in this song.

I should explain taike first. Two characters, tai from Taiwan, and ke which means "guest". This term originating as basically a condescending term used for people born in Taiwan by the nationalists who retreated to the island in 1949. To the KMT at that time, everything Taiwanese was backwards, the Taiwanese people hicks and fools who had rolled over under the Japanese occupation. You could compare the term to "redneck".

In recent times, the term taike has been reclaimed as a term of pride (much like "redneck" and other such terms). It's hard to define what "taike" is... it's one of those "know it when you see it" kind of things, much of the time. The examples people typically give are things like riding a moped with plastic slippers on... keeping your cigarettes in your sleeve... drinking Taiwan Beer and chewing betel nut... wearing grungy wifebeaters... You'll notice these are all male things. The female term is taimei.

And of course, speaking Taiwanese (aka Holo aka Hoklo aka Taiwanese Hokkien aka Taiwanese Min Nan aka probably a few other things I've forgotten) instead of Mandarin.

I can't speak Taiwanese or understand it. I would like to learn it sometime but that's a daunting task. Primarily because it has a 3-way distinction between voiced/voiceless unaspirated/voiceless aspirated ([b/p/p^h] if you know IPA) and I cannot, for the life of me, produce voiceless unaspirated at the beginning of a word. Also Taiwanese has very complicated tone sandhi rules, which are the rules governing when tones change to other tones.

Some people don't like calling it Taiwanese, because they feel like this denigrates the other languages spoken on Taiwan, particularly the languages spoken by the aboriginal Taiwanese.

You can't get away from politics in studying anything related to a Chinese language. I didn't have these problems when I took Latin! LOL.

In the pinyin, things in italics are in Taiwanese. I got the romanization of the Taiwanese by using this dictionary, and I have no idea if it's accurate.

異國的文化　一個家的文化	yi4guo2 de wen2hua4, yi4 ge jia1 de wen2hua4	an exotic culture, a family's culture
不是花個幾兩銀子　七載八載	bu2 shi4 hua1 ge ji3 liang1 yin2zi qi1 zai3 ba1 zai3	isn't a place where a couple bucks or a couple years
你就可以馬上被同化	ni3 jiu4 ke3yi3 ma3shang4 bei4 tong2hua4	will result in you being completely assimilated
人說讀萬卷書不如行萬里路	ren2 shuo1 du2 wan4 juan3 bu4 ru2 xing2 wan4 li3 lu4	they say reading a thousand books isn't as good as walking a thousand miles
無論今日身在何處　異在他鄉	wu2lun4 jin1ri4 shen1 zai4 he2chu4, yi4 zai4 ta1xiang1	no matter where you are today, whatever strange and foreign land
但是切記一定要回家	dan4shi4 qie4ji4 yi2ding4 yao4 hui2 jia1	always remember to come home
台客song 不爽	#tai2ke4 SONG, bô sóng	#taike song, not good1
台客song 甲爽	tai2ke4 SONG, kah sóng	taike song, pretty good
台客song 真爽	tai2ke4 SONG, chin sóng	taike song, really good
台客song 有夠爽	tai2ke4 SONG, ū-kàu sóng	taike song, good enough
美麗的寶島　人間的天堂	mei3li4 de bao3dao3, ren2jian1 de tian1tang2	a beautiful gem of an island2, heaven on earth
身為台灣人就應該驕傲	shen1 wei2 tai2wan1ren2 jiu4 ying1gai1 jiao4ao4	as Taiwanese we ought to be proud
我們的國土　我們的家園	wo3men de guo2tu3, wo3men de jia1yuan2	our country, our homeland
何必弄得滿身洋味	he2bi4 nong4 de man3shen1 yang2wei4?	why should should we make ourselves all Western?
你還不惜弄巧成拙	ni3 hai2 bu4 xi1 nong4 qiao3 cheng2 zhuo1	you keep on rushing to outsmart yourself
惹得旁人覺得無味	re3 de pang2ren2 jue2de wu2wei4	so annoying that everyone around thinks you're tasteless
你那一付四不像的模樣	ni3 na4 yi2 fu4 si4bu2xiang4 de mo2yang4	there's nothing about you that goes together
實在令人討厭	shi2zai4 ling3 ren2 tao3yan4	it really disgusts people!
＊台客song　不爽	*(tai2ke4 SONG, bô-sóng)	(taike song, not good)
本是同根生相煎何太急	ben3shi4 tong2gen1sheng1 xiang1jian1 he2 tai4ji2	we share the same roots, so why should we fight3
台客 song　甲爽	(tai2ke4 SONG, kah sóng)	(taike song, pretty good)
你可知道這是我們的文化	ni3 ke3 zhi1dao4 zhe4 shi4 wo3men de wen2hua4	do you understand, this is our culture
台客song　真爽	(tai2ke4 SONG, chin sóng)	(taike song, really good)
有什麼不滿你就大聲講	you3 shen2me bu4 man3 ni3 jiu4 da4sheng4 jiang3	if you're unsatisfied you immediately yell it out
台客song　有夠爽	(tai2ke4 SONG, ū-kàu sóng)	(taike song, good enough)
夜深了趕快回家	ye4 shen1 le, gan3kuai4 hui2 jia1	the night's gotten dark, return home at once
我說那些少數無知	wo3 shuo1 na4 xie1 shao3shu3 wu2zhi1	I'm talking about that ignorant minority
頭殼有問題的ABC	tou2ke2 you3 wen4ti3 de ABC	of ABCs4 with something wrong with their heads
搞不懂你們為什麼要跩個二五八萬	gao3bu4dong3 ni3men wei4shen2me yao4 zhuai3 ge er4wu3ba1wan4	I really don't get why y'all gotta swagger around like you've got four aces5
一付狗眼看人低	yi2fu4 gou4 yan3 kan4 ren2 di3	looking down on other people like dogs
揹負那些崇洋的文化	bei1fu2 na4 xie1 chong2yang2 de wen2hua4	bearing those foreign cultures on your shoulders
實在已經看不下去	shi2zai4 yi3jing1 kan4 bu4 xia4qu4	I really can't stand to watch you anymore
難道你們甘願做一群　扶不起的阿斗ㄚ	nan2dao4 ni3men gan1yuan4 zuo4 yi4 qun2 fu3bu4qi3 de A1-Dou3 a?	don't tell me y'all are willingly acting like a gang of pathetic morons6
講著奇怪的國語　滑稽的台語	jiang3zhe qi2guai4 de guo2yu3, hua2ji de tai2yu3	speaking weird Mandarin and laughable Taiwanese
還有自以為很好的英文	hai2you3 zi4 yi3wei2 hen3hao3 de ying1yu3	but you think your English is great
就想來騙吃騙喝　隨便嚷嚷　唬弄過去	jiu4 xiang3 lai2 pian4chi1pian4he2, sui2bian4 rang3rang3, hu3nong4 guo4qu4	you're an obvious freeloader, always grumbling and doing everything half-assed
已經把耳朵豎起來聽	yi3jing1 ba3 er3duo1 shu4qi3lai2 ting1	you've got your ears perked up to listen
聽的懂得沒來幾句	ting1dedong3 de mei2 lai2 ji3 ju4	but you haven't even understood a few sentences7
你那一付四不像的模樣	ni3 na4 yi2fu4 si4bu2xiang4 de mo2yang4	there's nothing about you that goes together
實在令人同情	shi2zai4 ling3 ren2 tong2qing2!	it really makes people feel sorry for you!
repeat # x 2	repeat # x2	repeat # x2
song 不爽　song 甲爽	SONG, bô sóng, SONG, kah sóng	song, not good, song, pretty good
song 真爽　有夠爽	SONG, chin sóng, SONG, ū-kàu sóng	song, really good, song, good enough
song	SONG	song
在外地吃喝拉撒睡	zai4 wai4di4 chi1he1la1sa1shui4	getting all your bodily needs in a foreign country8
比不上家鄉的魯肉飯	bi3bu4shang4 jia1xiang1 de lu3rou4fan4	can't compare to a bowl of braised pork rice9 in your hometown
配著一瓶清涼又爽口的台灣啤酒	pei2zhe yi4 ping2 qing1liang2 you4 shuang3kou3 de Tâi-ôan bì-luh	paired with a bottle of cold, refreshing Taiwan Beer10
接著抬頭一看　電視機會傳來一聲耳熟能詳的問候語	jie1zhe tai2 tou2 yi2 kan4 dian4shi4ji3 hui4 chuan2lai2 yi4 sheng1 er3shou2neng2xiang2 de wen4hou4yu3	and looking up at the tv where there comes the familiar sound of the greeting11
朋友順啊	pêng-iú, sūn a!	follow along, my friends12
Repeat ＊	Repeat *	Repeat *
台客song　不爽	(tai2ke4 SONG, bô sóng)	(taike song, not good)
少壯不努力老大徒傷悲	shao4​zhuang4​bu4​nu3​li4​, lao3​da4​tu2​shang1​bei1​	if you don't work hard when you're young, you'll regret it when you're old13
台客song　甲爽	(tai2ke4 SONG, kah sóng)	(taike song, pretty good)
你可知道這是我們的故鄉	ni3 ke3 zhi1dao4 zhe4shi4 wo3men de gu4xiang1	do you understand, this is our homeland
台客song　真爽	(tai2ke4 SONG, chin sóng)	(taike song, really good)
趁現在年輕回頭是岸	chen4 xian4zai4 nian2qing1 hui2tou2 shi4 an1	take advantage of your youth, it's not too late
台客song　有夠爽	(tai2ke4 SONG, ū-kàu sóng)	(taike song, good enough)
同胞們趕快回家	tong2bao1men, gan3kuai4 hui2 jia1	my fellow countrymen, return home at once
異國的文化　一個家的文化	yi4guo2 de wen2hua4, yi4 ge jia1 de wen2hua4	an exotic culture, a family's culture
不是花個幾兩銀子　七載八載	bu2 shi4 hua1 ge ji3 liang1 yin2zi qi1 zai3 ba1 zai3	isn't a place where a couple bucks or a couple years
你就可以馬上被同化	ni3 jiu4 ke3yi3 ma3shang4 bei4 tong2hua4	will result in you being completely assimilated
台客song	tai2ke4 SONG	taike song

1. This is in Taiwanese. Translating this word as "good" isn't really adequate, but it's the only way I know how to keep the same word in all four uses.
2. A probable reference to the Portuguese name "Ilha Formosa", which means "beautiful island".
3. A line from Cao Zhi.
4. The lyrics say "ABG" but that makes no sense. "ABC" is a common slang and works in context; I have searched, but I can't find anything, in Chinese or in English, using ABG to mean any kind of person; all I'm finding is about "arterial blood gas". I really doubt that the singer is dissing arterial blood gas. Errors in English in Chinese lyrics are not at all uncommon. I remember one that had "right" as "rihgt". That was in the CD booklet.
Oh and if you don't know "ABC" originally stands for "American-Born Chinese" but in practice is also used to describe Chinese-Canadians, Chinese-Australian, etc etc. This entire verse could be viewed as a description of the ABC stereotype in Chinese communities.
5. I substitute "four aces" (which most English speakers will recognize as a winning poker hand) for the original, which is a term for a similarly lucky hand in Mahjong.
6. "A-Dou" is the nickname of Liu Shan, the son of Liu Bei. His name has become a word for utterly incapable people who can't succeed even with someone holding their hand all the way. (I would translate "A-Dou" as "Scrappy", both having a meaning like "fighting" and both sounding childlike, which is funny, because Scrappy Doo and A-Dou are similarly held in contempt by most people.)
7. I'm guessing this is because the lyrics use a lot of convoluted grammar and references to literature that an ABC would not necessarily get, plus he's speaking fast. Like I understood maybe... a third?.. before looking at the lyrics.
8. Literally "eating drinking shitting pissing sleeping". LOL.
9. A very simple snack.
10. TAIWAN BEER WOOHOO. Sorry, nostalgia. He pronounces it in Taiwanese instead of Mandarin, and apparently the Taiwanese word for beer is a loanword from English "beer" via Japanese "biiru".
11. Lots of low-end restaurants in Taiwan have tvs. Only instead of being tuned to sports like they would be in the US, they are usually tuned to the news. I don't know why.
12. This line is in Taiwanese. Probably a reference to something that I would know if I spoke Taiwanese. LOL.
13. STAY IN CHINESE SCHOOL, KIDS. Oh this is another idiom btw.

Landy Wen Lan - Wide-Angle Beauty Guangjiao Meinv 廣角美女 translation

I'll be upfront, there's a few places in this translation where I just don't know what the lyrics mean; I've marked them with footnotes.

By the way, don't miss this clip from Landy's appearance on 100% Entertainment. If you're not familiar with the show, there's a recurrent bit where Show Luo pretends to be an arrogant American-born Chinese choreographer named Dancing King. He teaches a musical guest and his co-host Alien Huang a dance, which is usually actually not a bad dance--the hysterical part is Show Luo's outrageous behavior and hilarious imitation of an American's really bad pronunciation of Chinese. If you can understand Mandarin, you'll be in stitches, but it's pretty funny without it. And this is the song they choreograph to.

天生運動細胞不是很好	I'm not a natural athlete	tiansheng yundong xibao bu shi hen hao
媽媽說女生乖乖坐別活蹦亂跳	Mama said girls should sit nicely, not go frolicking about	mama shuo nvsheng guaiguai zuo, bie huobengluantiao
不喜歡風吹日曬也討厭流汗的感覺	I don't like wind or sun, and I can't stand the feeling of sweating either	bu xihuan feng chui ri shai, ye taoyan liuhan de ganjue
哪裡涼快哪裡一旁加油就好	wherever there's cool temperatures, wherever there's cheering is fine1	nali liangkuai, nali yipang jiayou jiu hao
起司 PIZZA 麵包 可樂 薯條 漢堡	cheese, pizza, bread, Coke, fries, burgers	qisi, PIZZA, mianbao, kele, shutiao, hanbao
在嘴裡一前一後一左一右開心的搖	that dance happily in all four corners of my mouth	zai zuili yi qian yi hou yi zuo yi you kaixin de yao
朋友說我能讓平凡食物變得很美味	my friends say that I can make even ordinary food taste delicious	pengyou shuo wo neng rang pingfan shiwu bian de hen meiwei
何必斤斤計較 尋自己煩惱	why obsess about every ounce and make yourself miserable?	hebi jinjin jijiao, xun ziji fannao?
＊I WANNA…I WANNA…	*I WANNA... I WANNA...	*I WANNA... I WANNA...
I WANNA　想吃多少吃多少	I WANNA eat how much I want to eat	I WANNA xiang chi duoshao, chi duoshao
I WANNA…I WANNA…	I WANNA... I WANNA...	I WANNA... I WANNA...
每個人看見我都會微笑＊	everyone who sees me will smile	meigeren kanjian wo dou hui weixiao
(貴妃駕到)	(Guifei has arrived2)	(Guifei jia dao)
Rap:	Rap:	RAP:
嗯哼~所有男人在我石榴裙下拜倒	mm-hmm~ all the men are wrapped around my fingers3	en-hng~ suoyou nanren zai wo shiliuqun xia baidao
嗯哼~份量不夠的自己就會先落跑	mm-hmm~ if I didn't weigh enough, they'd run away4	en-hng~ fenliang bu gou de ziji jiu hui xian luopao
嗯哼~變成林黛玉瘦骨如柴我不要	mm-hmm~ turn into skin and bones like Lin Daiyu? I won't!5	en-hng~ biancheng Lin Daiyu shouguruchai, wo bu yao
嗯哼~不用害臊	mm-hmm~ no need to be shy	en-hng~ bu yong haisao
大大方方走出自己的調調	I confidently walk out to my own rhythm	dadafangfang zou chu ziji de diaodiao
照片裡面我特別容易找	it's easy to find me in a photograph	zhaopian limian wo tebie rongyi zhao
她們都喜歡靠近我都圍著我繞	all my girls like to lean on me, it all revolves around me	tamen dou xihuan kaojin wo dou weizhe wo rao
就像是向日葵的花蕊陽光下般閃耀	just like the bud of a sunflower radiating in the sunlight	jiu xiang shi xiangrikui de huarui yangguang xiaban shanyao
廣角鏡頭才能抓住我的曼妙	only a wide-angle lens can capture my beauty	guangjiao jingtou cai neng guazhu wo de manmiao
恰恰　騷莎　探戈　HIPHOP　民族	cha cha, salsa, tango, hiphop, folk dancing	qiaqia, saosha, tange, HIPHOP, minzu wudao
只要音樂一下全身就會開始的搖	as long as there's music my entire body will start to move	zhi yao yinyue yixia quan shen jiu hui kaishi de yao
舞池裡我就化身為一隻性感小野貓	on the dance floor I turn myself into a sexy little wildcat	wuchi li wo jiu hua shen wei yi zhi xinggan xiao yemao
所有人都叫好　都為我尖叫	everyone cheers and screams for me	suoyou ren dou jiaohao, dou wei wo jianjiao
REPEAT＊	Repeat *	REPEAT *
I WANNA…I WANNA…	I WANNA... I WANNA...	I WANNA... I WANNA...
I WANNA 想吃多少吃多少	I WANNA eat how much I want to eat	I WANNA xiang chi duoshao, chi duoshao
I WANNA…I WANNA…	I WANNA... I WANNA...	I WANNA... I WANNA...
天天都要對我自己更好	I wanna be even better to myself every day	tiantian dou yao dui wo ziji geng hao
I WANNA…	I WANNA...	I WANNA
REPEAT RAP	Repeat rap	REPEAT RAP

1. I'm not sure about the latter half of this phrase. Literally: "wherever/cool (as in temperature)/wherever/at the side/'add oil'/then/fine". "Add oil", jia you, of course is the phrase used in Chinese to mean "Go for it!", "Try harder!" etc. You add oil to a lamp and the lamp burns brighter is the imagery. It's the yi bian (at the side) that is throwing me.
2. The "has arrived" here is a verb used for important people, I think, because I've only ever seen it about the emperor. It's not the typical "has arrived" verb.
3. This phrase, "fall down in worship before my pomegranate skirt" has the idiomatic meaning like the English "wrapped around my fingers", specifically for a beautiful woman.
4. The lyrics have luopao written but Landy seems to be pronouncing it laopao. I'm not sure if the written lyrics are wrong or if Landy is just pronouncing it oddly.
5. I would argue that this is not "fat girls vs. thin girls". Lin Daiyu is skinny because she is very ill (and dies young). The singer is saying that she's not going to make herself sick to be thinner than her body is supposed to be. She is not bashing thin girls who are naturally thin.

Amit 阿密特 - Hó Táⁿ Lí Tio̍h Lâi 好膽你就來 Come If You Dare translation

The best song of the past year! According to the Taiwanese Grammys, the Golden Melody Awards, that is. I quite like it.

I had a lot of help with this translation.

The transliteration into POJ comes from here. I do not take any credit for it.

Rex on Lang-8 helped tons, by translating difficult lines into Mandarin for me and talking with me about my translation. Thanks very much.

攏細你啦　攏細你啦	Lóng sī lí lah. Lóng sī lí lah.	it's all you, it's all you
攏細你害我的面來紅紅	Lóng sī lí hāi góa ê bīn lâi âng-âng	it's all your fault that my face is all red
你的心我的心結結作一伙	Lí ê sim, góa ê sim, kiat-kiat chòe chi̍t-hóe.	if your heart and my heart are tied together
是要打算按怎	Sī beh phah-sǹg án-chóaⁿ.	then what should be done about it?
攏細你啦　攏細你啦	Lóng sī lí lah. Lóng sī lí lah.	it's all you, it's all you
攏細你害我整天在茫茫	Lóng sī lí hāi góa kui-kang teh bâng-bâng.	it's all your fault that I can't sober up all day
你的心我的心現在賣擱假	Lí ê sim, góa ê sim, chit-má mài koh ké	your heart and my heart should stop pretending now
#要討我的愛　好膽你就來	#Beh thó góa ê ài, hó-táⁿ lí tio̍h lâi.	#if you want my love, come if you dare
賣放底心內　怨嘆沒人知	Mài khǹg teh sim-lāi, oàn-thàn bô lâng chai.	don't leave complaints in your heart that no one knows about
思念作風颱　心情三溫暖	Su-liām chòe hong-thai, sim-chêng sam-un-loán.	thoughts swirling like a typhoon, mood like a sauna
其實我攏知　好膽你就來	Kî-si̍t góa lóng chai. Hó-táⁿ lí tio̍h lâi.	actually I know it all, so come if you dare
攏細你啦　攏細你啦	Lóng sī lí lah. Lóng sī lí lah.	it's all you, it's all you
攏細你害我來氣心魯命	Lóng sī lí hāi góa lâi khì-sim ló͘-miā	it's all you taking years off my life
你的心我的心結結作一伙	Lí ê sim, góa ê sim, kiat-kiat chòe chi̍t-hóe.	if your heart and my heart are tied together
是要打算按怎	Sī beh phah-sǹg án-chóaⁿ.	then what should be done about it?
攏細你啦　攏細你啦	Lóng sī lí lah. Lóng sī lí lah.	it's all you, it's all you
攏細你害我整天在火大	Lóng sī lí hāi góa kui-kang teh hóe tōa.	it's all your fault that I'm furious all day
你的心我的心現在賣擱假	Lí ê sim, góa ê sim, chit-má mài koh ké	your heart and my heart should stop pretending now
repeat #	repeat #	repeat #

A-mei 阿妹 as Amit 阿密特 - Hei Chi Hei 黑吃嘿 Black Eats Black translation

WARNING: This video is not:
1. Work safe for workplaces that frown on BDSM imagery (although no actual nudity).
2. Brain safe for people who don't want to see explicit things being done to tomatoes.
YE BE WARNED.

Part of a series of Golden Melody Award winners! Amei won best album, best artist, and a lot more. I am working with some Taiwanese speakers to translate the song that won best song, so look forward to that, maybe?

你的頭長在哪邊	where's your head?
怎麼不在脖子上面	how come it's not on your neck?
我被你晾了一夜	you left me out to dry for a night
早餐配著你的黑輪	I ate oden with you in the morning
陪你看警匪片　學會以眼還眼	I learned "eye for an eye" watching crime films with you
我不還嘴　是正在　醞釀一舉攻堅	when I don't talk back it's because an attack is brewing
對你的笑 藏冷箭	to your smile, hiding cold arrows
你說的　那家店　明明全面禁菸	you said that place obviously forbids smoking
你的宵夜　到底在　哪個家裡解決	so you decided to get your midnight snack there
沾了一頭　菸臭味	enveloped in a cloud of stinking tobacco
＃黑吃黑 鬼咬鬼	#black eats black, ghost bites ghost
愛演我陪你演	you like to play, I'll play with you
是哪個妹　又被騙	it's that girl who's the one getting fooled
躺著給你安慰	into lying down to give you comfort
有夠可憐	how pathetic!
我超想見她一面	I so wanna take a look at her
黑吃黑 鬼咬鬼	black eats black, ghost bites ghost
愛演我陪你演	you like to play, I'll play with you
是我也想　惦一惦	it's me who wants to have a try
我有多少極限	and find out how many limits I have
你的謊言　是我的飯後消遣	your lies are how I pass the time after dinner
IT'S BULLSHIT	IT'S BULLSHIT
現在是西元幾年	what year is it AD now?
還把劈腿當作表現	we're still treating two-timing as something to show off
愛不愛一念之間	to love or not within an instant
不過就是一句再見	but it's just a goodbye
折磨你　打哈欠　還得陪我上街	tormented by yawns you still go shopping with me
然後半夜　摸著黑　上別條船搞鬼	later, at midnight, you grope in the dark, to do a number on the other girl1
黑夜白天　都別睡	whether at night or during the day, you won't sleep
你放心　我絕對　永遠笑容滿面	relax, I'm definitely always gonna be smiling ear to ear
找到一天　跟你說　我的耐心有限	but you'll find one day I'm gonna tell you my patience is finite
少在那邊　想挽回	cut it out, you'd better pull back
repeat ＃	REPEAT #
少在那邊	cut it out
你的專業謊言　對我是種表演	your professional lies are a kind of performance to me
少在那邊	cut it out
你的專業眼淚　對我是種笑點	your professional tears are a kind of joke to me
少在那邊	cut it out
你的專業犯罪　對我是種磨練	your professional crimes are a kind of endurance test to me
少在那邊	cut it out
準備滾到一邊	or get ready to get knocked to the side

1. In Chinese, one of the slang for "two-timing" is "having a foot each on two boats". The end of this line is literally "getting on your other boat to make some mischief".